Letter
to my Uncle
You knew me before
I knew myself
Your hand upon
my mother's belly
Feeling her baby
kick
Then shortly after
I was born
You and your best
mate Dad
Went home to 'wet'
this baby's head
I remember the
times when you lifted me onto your knees
You'd dismantled
the family piano
So I could watch
with fascination
The mysteries
of the music you played for me
Your gifted hands
on black and white keys
I was then a child
of three
After you'd played,
it was my turn
Crashing and bashing
any keys I could reach
Pretending that
I was just like you
But you must have
wished that you were deaf
As your hands
played with my childish curls
I wanted to play
for you so that you too would be pleased
I grew a little
more and finally learned to play
On the same old
family piano that is still around today
You would play
the masters, no sheet music in sight
I played my childish
pieces with a feeling of delight
And patiently
you listened
Twirling your
fingers through my locks
You sent me music
for duets
And so we sat
Side by side as
we played
Pacing each other
Racing each other
I loved you so
much then
It was exciting
to know you were coming over
You were out of
town so much
So I practised
hard your favourite sonata
I couldn't get
the Allegro right
You were so strangely
quiet when I played mistakes
Was there something
on your mind as you stroked my waist-long hair?
A gentle tap upon
my door....
You took that
which was mine
You raped me not
just once but thrice
My body, my mind,
my soul
But I've finally
broken my promise
The promise to
myself to never tell
Don't talk about
virginity
That was mine
alone to gift
But I've tried
to play our music again
There's simply
nothing left
No melodies in
my fingers
No harmony in
my soul
I saw you just
three years ago
Crippled in your
wheelchair
You had lost your
power of speech
But you raised
your fading eyes to mine
What were you
trying to tell me 'uncle'?
Sorry?
Only now do I feel
able to grieve
For the loss of
that which we shared
Maybe what I'm
saying is...
Finally I can
begin to forgive
But it's taken
what seems like eternity
You meant so much
to me.
(C)
Copyright 1999
ANNIE H
All Rights Reserved
